After graduating from college in 1976 I was offered an opportunity to take over a small business that my cousin(a third cousin) had established in the Pittsburgh area.  I had grown up in the Philadelphia area and was not enthusiastic about moving away from an area I was comfortable with, leaving family and friends in the process. 

     The business that my cousin had started involved the cleaning of beer lines that were connected from the beer kegs to the tap on top of the bar counter.   My cousin had established something like thirty contracts with various types of bars and clubs that served beer and liquor all around Allegany County and the suburban environment.  It was only a part-time job for him as he worked a full- time job as a baggage handler for United Airlines.  He exclaimed that there was potential to expand the business but he couldn't do so as he was overwhelmed with the hours involved and felt he was exhausted and over-extended with trying to handle both jobs.  

     He offered me the opportunity to start out part-time and if I felt this was worth pursuing I could take over the business. Needless to say this was a big decision, being just out of college and moving to an area where I did not know anyone with the exception of those few family relations whom I had never met.   Obviously I would have to find full-time employment as well as the part-time position cleaning the beer lines to be able to afford an apartment and all the other essentials you need to survive starting out with only my debts from school loans and no savings and no inheritance.  

     Nor was I able to depend on any money, in the form of loans, from my family as they were living on income that was below the poverty level.  I lived most of my life being self-dependent but I had at least a place to live and food to eat thanks to my grandparents' generosity. However, because I had worked through most of my life I always had confidence that I could survive and prosper in any kind of economic environment. 

     The 1970's were a most egregious time in the economic history of the United States.  Many corporation and companies were dramatically cutting back and laying-off employees in droves as we were in a severe recession.  The stock market had lost a great deal of value and commodities kept rising in price where President Nixon felt compelled to put a wage and price control policy in effect; an ironic and vehement denunciation of the Free Market principles of a right wing Republican President . 

     For those of us who lived through the 70's and experienced the social upheavals that had continued from the 60's, probably the most indelible memory, besides" Watergate", was standing in the gasoline lines that most of us had to suffer through, not once but twice. These incidents cast aspersions, on many peoples' beliefs, upon the very foundations of capitalism and democracy. 

     One bright point of the 70's was the ending of the U.S. war in Viet Nam.  Nevertheless I was determined to find a successful career. I decided to take my cousins up on his offer and off I went to live in Pittsburgh. 

     After moving in to an inexpensive apartment in the steel-mill town of Ambridge, just north of Pittsburgh city proper, I started working with my cousin cleaning beer-lines.  At first everything worked out well, except for the problem that I needed a full-time job to compensate for the part-time hours involved with the beer-line cleaning business. Initially, I wasn't too pressed as I felt that I could turn the beer-line business into a full-time job with some sales work on my part during the time I was not actually working, as it appeared to be a viable dependable business.  

     Pennsylvania law required that all establishments serving beer with a license had to have their lines cleaned at least once per week.  I was certain I could pick up plenty of business in addition to what my cousin had already started.  After a couple of weeks I told my cousin I was ready and willing to take over the business as he had offered.  Then I got hit between the eyes, so to speak, as he told me that he had changed his mind and wanted to keep the business.  

     Well, I cannot express the anger and betrayal I felt, not to mention the awkward predicament of having nothing or no one to fall back on.  I prayed, not for God's help, but to keep me from killing my cousin.   Because, believe me, the only thing that saved him from at least a few weeks in the hospital was his lovely mother and father: And also the fact that I probably would have spent a few years in prison. 

     After I calmed downed, I then started praying in earnest.  All I could think of was the psalm that "God helps those who help themselves".  I selfishly felt that I needed a lot more help than that, as I began to feel I was drowning.  I was drowning in self pity and quickly realized I didn't even have time for that.  

     After cutting my hair short enough for the corporate world I then went and bought my first suit.  I began to desperately search through the help wanted ads and interviewed with headhunter agencies to find a job before I starved to death or became homeless.  I wasn't sure which would come first as I truly believed this desperate reality:  it was either sink or swiim. I chose to swim against a strong current. 

     Although, there was another option,  that being to go back to Philly and live with my grandmother. as I had been living with them since high school after my father locked me out of our house in a moment of sober delusional meaness.

     However, pride got the better of me and I could in no way envision going home a failure.  There was another dimension of drama playing out concomitantly with my endeavors to find a career.  I had met a girl in college and, believing we were in love, asked her to marry me. 

     Coincidently, she was offered a promotion in her job working for one of the large steel companies.  As she was from north New Jersey she got her job with the steel company's offices in north New Jersey before she graduated from college. To get the promotion she would have to move to Pittsburgh.  She encouraged me to move to Pittsburgh with her as she would be able to support us both until I worked out the business opportunity with my cousin or I found another job.  Within a month of moving to Ambridge she informed me that she wanted to pursue a relationship with a co-worker in the steel company.  He was almost fifteen years older than her and had his own house.  

     So much  for love!  Well, needless to say I was devastated emotionally and she left me with the apartment expenses as she rented a  plush modern  apartment. I didn't know whether to cry or laugh, initially, I experienced   a moderate nervous breakdown  and did cry for the first time since I swore to my father that I would never cry again, that was around the age of 7 or 8 years old.  How do I know it was a moderate nervous break-down?   I would experience, to those who were aware of my problems , a" mid-life crisis". This would happen somewhere around 25 years in the future, and the break-down would be so wrenching,  that it caused a permanent physical and emotional disability.  Which will be another story for another day. 

     But, back in 1976, I managed to suppress my feelings as I had to concentrate on where my next meal would come from.   When one day I left to find work, I accidently left the burner on the stove lit, and the owner of the building, who lived upstairs, as it was a duplex, somehow sensed it and let herself into my apartment and turned off the burner.  As soon as I got home she pounced on me and reprimanded me for my carelessness.  I explained to her that my fiancé had abandoned me for an older jerk with a house and apologized as I was in a dither.  

    She had met the jerk and was shocked and most sympathetic as she expressed her dismay and commented that she (the fiancé) would regret giving me up as she said I was very handsome and sweet(even though didn't like my shoulder length hair).  It was very comforting as she also told me not to worry about the rent that she would give me some extra time to meet my debts.  So, I forced myself to laugh it off as I realized I was fortunate in finding out my fiancée's shallowness before we got married.

     However I needed a full-time job and I had only a couple of weeks to find one.  I started looking in the help wanted ads, and didn't find many opportunities for a history major.   My Grandmother's brother, whom I was soon to become close with, was a Holy Ghost Father, a missionary order of the Roman Catholic Church, and he would mock me about majoring in history with his jabs about how John John Kennedy, also majored in history and he was, according to my Great Uncle, a not very bright Kennedy (and this was before his endeavors to pass the New York Bar exam).  

     My Uncle would call me, with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, "Jim Jim".  I also signed up with a head -hunter to give me access to companies that did not advertise in the newspapers.  Off I would trudge, taking the bus to "doun-tahn", as those in Pittsburgh would pronounce it.  Even their accents were beginning to aggravate me. 

     Not to mention the soot that was falling like fine snow . When once I commented to a native Pittsburghian, about the pollution, he commented proudly that this was nothing compared to what it used to be.  I just shook my head, astonished! 

     Upon meeting the owner of the Head-hunting agency I explained my precarious situation and was given an appointment with a personnel manager with a large hotel chain.  I was excited with the prompt appointment and felt my troubles would soon be at an end. 

     The manager wanted to see me during the evening at a lounge/bar in downtown Pittsburgh.  I thought it odd that a personnel manager of the Hotel would not be interviewing at his offices in the Hotel, but I wasn't about to pass up on any opportunity.  "Any" was a word I was about to reconsider.  Upon my arrival the interviewer was not in sight, so I tried to relax and be patient.  Within a few minutes he approached me and our interview began. The job was explained and he was willing to hire me upon certain conditions.  Namely, including my salary (which was sub-standard) he offered to pay for an entire wardrobe.  As the lights in my mind started to spin, he then informed me that I would be expected to live with him as his lover.  

     Now I know I was desperate, but I couldn't believe what I was hearing and I began to feel faint.  Not in the sense that I was thrilled with this offer, which he expressed as being very generous, but I couldn't believe someone had the guts to expect me to be ecstatic over this perverse and perverted arrangement of a job offer.  And I calmly proceeded to tell him what a sick bastard he was and then I vehemently told him what he could do with his job.  I then pointed out that even if I were of the persuasion he and the Head-hunter obviously perceived, he was too damned ugly and should get a new face.   

    Now I know this was not very Christian, but I was beginning to feel like I had entered an alternate reality where there were no rules.  This experience actually was a great benefit as it girded me to a state of emotional indifference. I no longer felt desperate and would henceforth be emboldened to accept no disrespect from anyone, no matter what position they held.  My confidence actually grew to the point where from then on no one would intimidate me or waste my time.  Up to that point I had gone on dozens of interviews and been rejected every time.

     I then called one of the corporations on my list and set up an interview.  I had never heard of the company, but they advertised as a large telecommunications conglomerate looking for sales-representatives.  The appointment was set for early in the business hours and was located in one of the newer high rises in Penn Center.  As usual, I was on time and the Manager promptly called me in.  I handed him my resume and he asked me a few questions which I calmly and confidently answered. He then said thank you for coming and he would be in touch. 

     I stood up to leave and then became angry.  I boldly told him that I had heard enough of people in his position tell me they would call me and that I knew he had no intention of calling me back. Why, I demanded, didn't he give me the chance to prove myself, as I was certain I would be a success?!   Just give me the chance and I would prove to be an asset.  His reply astonished me. He informed me that I was hired! I shook his hand and reported to work the next day.  The corporation's name was MCI Telecommunications.

     At that time Bell Telephone was still the monopoly and MCI was the first company to compete against "Ma Bell."  Corporate executives that had formerly worked for Bell Telephone organized and started MCI to compete against Bell using the new technology of Microwave transmission.  

     Where Bell Telephone used land lines to enable persons to talk to one another via cables of copper wire, MCI  would use microwaves, transmitted via microwave towers, accessed through Bell Telephone cables that connected to each person's phone. MCI had nineteen(19) microwave towers located throughout the United States, in major cities and were expanding where   opportunity presented.  The MCI service was initially for business or those making at least twenty dollars per month of long distance phone calls.  The callers could only call from one state to another state as opposed to say Pittsburgh to Philadelphia.  

     MCI guaranteed a savings of at least 30%.  Another necessity was a caller needed to have a touchtone phone. Today, of course, hardly anyone owns a dial-phone, but in 1976 hardly anyone owned touchtone phones as they were just introduced into the general market.

     Needless to say, selling this service over the phone was a difficult challenge.  When I started soliciting the service most people did not believe there was any other phone company.  Many younger people born after 1970 will find this hard to understand, as they have had access to all kinds of phone companies.  Understanding that one phone company could have a total monopoly for most of the 20 ^th century in a free market economy would seem confusing, even, I am certain for Adam Smith.  But for those of us born before 1970, it was inconceivable that there was anything other than "Ma Bell".  

     So, even offering a service that was 30% cheaper, people could not believe me when I would try to sell the service. There was that alternate reality again; but now, I knew, that to succeed you never give up!   I had learned that lesson early in life, but being in the predicament I was then, I lost my focus. 

     And, of course, being hit with the kinds of adversity I was experiencing  was like being thrown into the ocean without   a life-vest to learn to swim.  As I stated above, I felt like I was drowning, only now I was swimming , but still against the current. 

     I think to accomplish anything worthwhile in life, metaphorically speaking, we are always going against the current.  Those who succeed in life are not always the strongest or the wisest, but those who persevere, especially when you believe there is no hope.  And so many times I was at the very edge of failure.  However, I learned that there was great truth in this quote by Bovee: "A failure establishes only this, that our determination to succeed was not strong enough." 

     I was very determined to succeed, however, I would have given up more than once without something fortuitous that would intercede at the very moment I was ready to quit.  I know, without the shadow of a doubt, that life is more than coincidences.  Carl Jung, in his final book, called it a synchronicity of the unconscious. 

     I believe in, and have experienced on numerous occasions throughout my life, what can only be explained as Divine Intervention.  In most cases I was unworthy of God's help; I should say I was always unworthy.  For I always lost faith and simply forgot God when I would then delude myself with the belief that I was worthy of something or I earned it myself.  

     Thankfully, I now realize that God was there for me even though I did not deserve the successes  that I have, yet God gives us what we ask for or most desire if only to show how hollow are the things of the material world. Jesus said: "Where there is wealth in a man, there you will find his heart."   It took me nearly a half of a century to really believe those words, even though I convinced myself that I understood as a young man.  I am blessed to understand them now, but it took a great deal of suffering; and there are still moments where I forget God. 

     If we are not thinking of God within the context of each and every thought or idea, we will experience true failure.   You may not understand why things in your life are chaotic or the reason why you are depressed; it is simply the separation from God.

     While learning to sell MCI services I also had too learn how to sell over the phone.  It may seem like a non-issue, but I can assure you it takes a special talent to sell something over the phone, especially when that product is not visible nor can ever be held in your hand.  

     The Training I received covered about one morning session and I can remember I didn't learn a thing, nor did I remember what was taught as I was petrified of the very idea of selling something over the phone.  I had never been comfortable speaking casually on the phone, let alone trying to sell a product that no one believed existed while sitting at long tables with all the rest of the sales associates making their calls and being able to watch and listen to you. 

     I am sure it was quite entertaining for my associates to watch and listen to me make a complete fool of myself.  I can laugh now as I mentally relive those hysterical and comical antics as I tried to act with the self-confidence that had abandoned me altogether.  I was so scared and nervous that I actually was whispering into the phone trying to sell the service so the other sales-reps would not hear me, which must have made it all the more amusing. 

     On top of all this was the fact that I was selling on a commission basis, that is no guaranteed salary.   I was ready to quit every day.  But I couldn't give up.  As hopeless as it seemed, it was as though some force was keeping me there for the entertainment of the employees. Finally, something snapped inside me and I lost all sense of self-consciousness.  I cannot explain it to this day, but suddenly, I was speaking and sounding professional and found an edge that would bring me success as a sales representative.   One hurdle nearly cost me everything I learned. 

     Finally, after the third week, I made my first sale only to find out that when the company reps called them to verify the sale they changed their mind and I lost the sale.   And then I finally gave up.  But, I gave myself two more days and if I couldn't make a sale I was quitting.  No, if's, and's or but's; that would be it.  What a mistake that would have been, for I surely would have lost all the lessons I worked so hard to learn.  Through what could only have been divine intervention, I made a confirmed sale the very last day of my self-imposed deadline.   And I knew then it had to be Divine, because whether I made the sale that day or not I was certain to have made it eventually because of my perseverance and my belief that God would help me.  It was an arduous and often painful experience but it was worth more than a million dollars.  

     My faith in my own abilities and endurance was a gift that would always be a reminder whenever I started to have doubts about anything but most importantly I learned that there is Divine Intervention and all we need is Faith.  And for the fairy tale happy ending, my fiancee wanted me back.  I tried to find that lovin' feeling, but could not bring myself to trust her again, so I ended the relationship.   However,  I was happy again and went on to be a successful sales rep, winning a "salesman of the month" award. 

     But MCI would not be able to overcome the deep pockets of Bell Telephone in the short haul.  The Federal Communication Commmission sued MCI for monopolizing the long distance phone service.  Funny; MCI was the first and only company to compete against Bell Telephone whom had complete and overwhelming control of the long distance market.  MCI Telecommunications would sue the FCC and after 6 years of being forced out of the market, they won, in 1980, 1.6 Billion dollars.  This for the first time in U.S. history opened up the market not only to MCI, but to anyone else with the means and opportunity to run a phone company.  

     That lawsuit of MCI'S precipitated the downfall of Bell Telephone as the monopolistic conglomerate it was  and the Federal Government forced the break-up of the corporation.  In late 1976, MCI, was forced to halt further expansion of their long distance service and as a consequence was forced to lay off all those sales reps, including myself, who worked in that specific area of their telecommunications.  When we were notified of the FCC's decision and told of the impending layoffs, my boss approached me and offered me another position with the corporation.  However, I couldn't see any advantages and decided not to accept their offer, even though I would have been able to work out of their Philadelphia Office.

     There was definitely opportunity in continuing to work for MCI Tele-communications although I could not see it at the time.  I decided to move back in with my Grandmother in Philly, but I returned a much stronger and a little wiser individual.   Realizing all the experience I gained I was a more hardened soul, similarly, just as the blacksmith tempers the steel by constant hammering and heating , and then immediately dipping the implement into cold water to produce the strongest sword blade, I emerged from the experience a much stronger person.  But, it would take me years too learn to trust and open my heart.  God blessed me with the person that would become my wife; the most kind, generous and sweetest person I would ever know.  We are still together. 

     I also learned from my experience in Pittsburgh that God has a plan for each of us.  It is up to our free will to accept His way or not.  I know that God intervened when I was certain to quit before I got the sale that would lead too my success with MCI.   As I stated above I would have lost everything I worked so hard to achieve by my self-imposed deadline for a sale.  By getting the sale I did not celebrate the fact of the sale, I celebrated the truth of my foolishness and the fool I was in imposing a deadline to give up when I had already won.  "Be it jewel or toy, Not the prize gives the joy, But the striving to win the prize."(Pisistratus Caxton - The Boatman)